Who Am I?

Who Am I?

I am many things to many people.

I am a daughter, born to two of the most wonderful parents a girl could ever ask for. They always make me feel loved and special. If I find half of the happiness and love they have in each other after all these years, I will consider myself a very lucky woman.

I am a sister, to a younger brother who could not be more opposite to me if he tried. Yet, finally, we have found common ground in the birth of his son. We have learned to love and respect each other again after years of family problems and his issues with addiction.

I am a girlfriend, to a man who came into my life when I least expected it. He has stood by me, and I have stood by him through good times and bad. He loves me for who I am. He takes care of me in so many ways and my heart swells when he is in the room.

I am an aunt to the most precious, beautiful boy God could ever bless a family with. He came into all of our live like an angel from heaven, right at the point when it seemed my family had fractured beyond repair, riddled and beaten down by the pain and codependence of addiction.

I am a niece, cousin, friend, student, and employee as well.

But I am also more than these roles that I play in my life.

I am a good listener
I am compassionate
I am friendly
I am funny
I am smart
I am caring
I am a lover
I am a fighter

After everything I have endured in my life, above all, I am grateful and happy to be in this place, enjoying my journey and becoming a better person.


Battling the Baby Blues…How to Cope?

In November of 2009, a most wonderful thing happened in my family. My adorable nephew John III (we call him Jack) was born! Now I had been around babies and children before. I did my share of teenage babysitting and I have plenty of friends who have taken the parenthood plunge. But I had the unique opportunity to be at the hospital when Jack was born. An hour after he was born I was one of the first people to hold him while his dad was out making the requisite good news calls and the nurses were tending to his mommy. I fell in love. I couldn’t believe that this little life in my arms was a member of my family, my godson, my nephew. He was (and still is) perfect. It was at that moment that my biological clock began to keep time in the back of my head…

My little buddy at 7 months

My boyfriend and I have never seriously considered having children. We are both adult students with full-time jobs and we enjoy having the freedom to pick up at a moment’s notice and go away for the weekend. But having a baby so close to us and seeing how beautiful the relationship is between Jack and his parents has caused us to seriously reconsider our position. But how do you know if it’s the right time? My boyfriend thinks we should both finish school. My head says yes but my heart is aching to hold my own child in my arms. I was at a local restaurant the other night having dinner and struck up a conversation with a woman who was out with her newborn granddaughter. What a tiny angelic little creature! On the drive home I had to explain to my boyfriend why I was in tears over a baby I didn’t even know.

So how do you know when the time is right? For every one person who says you should have all your ducks in a row before trying for a family, there is another who says you will never REALLY be ready and you should just go for it. I keep fighting the urge but I am starting to wonder why I am fighting at all? This instinct runs so deep…I would love to know how some of you have fought (or given in) to this force of nature. What are your thoughts? Any advice? I would love to hear from you…

Light, love, and positive thoughts!

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